Monday, June 22, 2009

Saturday, June 20, 2009

just a photo entry. documenting the good times.


goodbye yosemite.
hello gigglebox.

this entry's photos courtesy of karlei baker.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

but each new morning sunrise
is just as good as gold
and all the hope inside you
will keep you from the cold
bare your soul and let your spirit burn
out along the road to no return

-robert earl keen

dealing. please don't forget about me.

okay. go.
go to some place else.
somewhere away from here.
away from my new home. my new friends.
say goodbye to them.
say a prolonged 'au revoir' to everything.
wave goodbye to all the things you hoped to do and all the people you hoped to see again. look back once and feel a slight regret for all the seemingly lost experiences and forever gone, or never to come, memories.
look back, but keep moving forward.
don't forget that memories are always being created. a new history, a new story.
remember that yesterday will always be there and will only be as positive as you make the present. the gift of now.
it may be unfortunate and not what you expected or even necessarily wanted, but it is life. that is part of the beauty of being alive. spontaneity.
it is all a process and sometimes you may not see or expect the changes that present themselves as you round the bend, but that doesn't make it bad.
look forward to the future and be excited about the present.
live. and love.
when hiking down from half-dome, i hurt my ankle. for most people a slight ankle sprain wouldn't be that big of a deal, but it is no longer something i take lightly. or happily. for those of you who don't know, i have been dealing with an ankle injury for the last two years. it has kept me from doing so many things i love to do- not that it was a bad thing. i was also able to learn new things and grow and develop in ways i may have not had i been healthy and without injury. but it was still not the most fun. so, a month ago i started going to the physical therapist again and my ankle became 100% once more. i ran for the first time in two years and climbed without grimacing. i was able to enjoy every move i made instead of worrying if my ankle would swell and hurt. i had just over three weeks of this bliss before twisting it three and a half miles from the car. it was not a re-injury, per say, but it was not something i was feeling positive about.
because of this, karlei and i decided it wouldn't make sense to stay in yosemite and try to wait a week or two for my ankle to heal when we could be having adventures elsewhere. i was really bummed about leaving yosemite. it seemed so all-of-a-sudden.
i got really comfortable there and i felt like it was a place i could easily exist. i fit in. i just had to remember that yosemite will always be there, waiting for me. that everything happens for a reason, and the time had come to make new and different memories. sometimes it is hard to leave the comfort of one place and have the road bring change. but change is growth. and that is okay.
but "growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell" (ed abbey said that) and i don't want to be cancerous either.
i want to go home with a strong sense of identity (not that i necessarily lack an individual self, just that i don't want to be the same as i have always been - i don't want to reach a stagnant place) and maybe this is how i build that and create a stronger me.
"home" has become a slightly scary place and leaving yosemite puts me one step closer to being back there. back to the place that makes it so hard to be anything other than what i have always been. i am still learning.
i think i was so hesitant to leave because i liked the place i was at in life. i was afraid of regressing.
i don't want to forget about the places i have seen and the people i have met. i want them to know they have left an impression on me and i hope i have left some sort of impression on them too. i don't want to go easily out of their mind and become nothing more than just another face in the background of a photograph.
so, please. don't forget about me.

i am on the road again. i must keep on keepin' on.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

By the Full Moon

it has now been three nights since the full moon, since karlei and i had our great moon-lit adventure. since the trees glowed in the dim light and we watched the sun sink behind the clouds from nevada falls. three nights since the mist fell over the trees and deer walked on their hind legs.
three nights ago we hiked up half-dome.
we watched the sunset as we hiked and felt the beauty that surrounded us. from a beak setting over a waterfall, nevada falls, we watched the clouds change color and felt the vibrancy of the life all around us. of our life. of all that we were experiencing.
we began hiking again and the further up we went, the more engulfed we became in the beauty surrounding us. the setting sun placed a glow on everything that encircled us. the soft light created vibrant colors every direction we looked. we told stories of fairies and elves and the forest creatures that would hike with us, even though we are not significant. they would sense our presence long before we arrived and, in all their magnificence, they would decide we were worthy enough to be in their company. the deer would walk on their hind legs and the foxes and birds would lead us along the trail telling us stories of old. strange creatures we had never before dreamed of would come out of the depths of the woods, out of the bright green mosses and white branches and watch us as we walked past. we would be aware of them but not afraid. they were apart of the perfection and peace that surrounded the woods in which we walked. all was well.
as the sun sunk deeper into the west, the colors began to fade and the clouds began to form around us. we could feel the mist and electricity of the clouds in which we walked. the trees became shadows and all became silent. as our feet began to move slower, karlei told a story about a little boy and his mother who would collect the morning sun rays to give light to their village. the little boy with squeaky shoes.
before long we were out of the clouds and beneath the 'sky lilies' of the night. the sun was nothing more than a green tint along the western horizon and the moon a faint glow behind the clouds over the mountains. and our feet kept moving on.
we kept on keepin' on.
before long we were pulling on cables and gazing at the glory of the moon and the silhouettes of the mountains. our shadows were created by the moon and the moon was our guiding light. leading us up. we sat for hours on top of half-dome. on top of the world. thinking, enjoying, shivering, complaining about the cold, laughing.
finally we got so tired and cold that we decided to begin the decent. down. and down. with the moon shinning bright. fighting the desire to curl up on any half decent flat spot on trail to sleep. dreaming on trail. by the full moon.
as the evening became later, or morning began to arrive, the moon disappeared to give way to the rising sun. the first birds began to chirp. we were exhausted, but full of joy.
the setting sun, the full moon, and the morning birds. the beasts of the forest and the color of the trail.
a good night. by the full moon.